hm.....

something innocent

sigh~ long time haven't put post already. and i am now very grateful for those who are reading my posts.. thank you. *though there are only one or two people reading my blog~*

so anyway... nothing to update. hm... how about writing my essay? *San Jie i know my english sucks. there no need to put more comment* anyway (following nyangko's blog) i finished this essay using... around 50 minutes. ohohohoho!!! cause i spent too much time on the first essay.

write a story beginning with:

"we used to know each other when we were young..."

here goes:

"We used to know each other when we were young.. or so i though. i don't really care" i said.

"Sally... i know you're lying. just take a look at your face." Sara said.

i glared at her, a bit annoyed. She had been nagging ever since this morning. "You know him!! O.M.G" or "Tell me about him" or"He's so cute" or "You're my best friend. Now tell me!!!" ARGH!!! Why won't she just shut up?!?! Did she know that she is pissing me off?!* the teacher actually let me use the word. seriously~*

It all started on any other normal and innocent day where nothing could go wrong. But little did i know, it did. That day, a famous guy from some other country transferred to my school. And of course, a riot happened on that day. No one seems to have the mood to study, not even the teacher. Everyone was so excited. Everyone was leaning over the window when he came. The moment he opened the door of hIs Porche, everyone screamed. My ears almost burst.

At that time, i was sitting at the far corner in my class, reading. I am not a popular girl, more to say a creepy and quiet person. I don't mix with my classmates well. Well, i don't like to. i don't really care about having friends or what. It's my nature, to be alone. i heard people say that i give out and aura which clearly state that 'if you come any closer, you'll DIE'.

Anyway, to me whole class joy (excluding me) the super star was in our class!!! oh joy~ more noises. i hate it. And it gets better. Of all the sits he can choose, he chose to sit right next to me. Which had instantly made my life more miserable.

As you should have guessed, everyone in my class gathered around him and started asking him question. i remember that day was probably the worst day in my life. But...when i looked at him...more like observe him. He resemble someone. Somene who shouldn't be here. Someone who was long gone. Impossible. Get hold of yourself, Sal! I told myself. He is gone. Long gone.

I guess that everyone can feel that if someone is staring at you. So, i looked up and saw that he was looking at me.

Suddenly, he stood up, and walk to me sit. He, the o mighty prince, is standing right in front of me! Now, every single person in the class was looking at both of us. Oh Joy~ More attention. Just what i needed. At that time, i was thinking of walking away from there. Away from the unwanted attention. But to my surprise, he talked to me. Using his happy-happy voice.

"Hi..." i tried to get away but..."....Sally" That had certainly caught my attention. why would some o mighty prince talk to me? And how the hell did he know my name?

"Hi Sally. It has been a long time since i have last seen you. How are you?"

For a moment, i stand there, paralyzed, not knowing what to do. Did i know him? But... he's dead. That person is dead...

"Jack Tawly...?"

He nodded. Without hesitation, i rushed out of the class. Out of everyone's reach... into the girl's dressing room.

"It's not him. He is dead... dead...is he?" It seemed possible. Could it be that... When i think about it, i can feel myself boiling.

"Calm down, girly" i told myself.

When i calmed down, i went back to the class, took my bag, and walk away. Heading home. Half way through, the person grabbed my hand.

"Wait... i'm sorry if i scared you. But i really am Jack Tawly. I came back. I.. wanted to see you again..." he said that and smiled...and hugged me.

That time, i didn't get paralyzed. i pushed him away and started to run.

I ran for quite some time, well out of range of the school. But to my horror, a Porche drove by.

"Would you please listen to me!?"

"No. I rather not."

"Sally, I'm sorry."

" Sorry for what? Sorry for leaving me behind in that... that.. place?!?!"

"i'm sorry..."

"Shut it. I'm not listening to your excuses. Go away."

"Sally...

i think i'll change the rest of the story. but really hard to continue~

"Sally...please..." he got out of his car" Listen to me" Then he forced me into his car.

"This... for your information, is called kidnapping. You better let me out, or i'll love to kill you

right now."

"Sally....

from now on... use your imagination. thank you.

i'll continue the story some other day~

*evil grin* ohohohohoho.

...

At Duke University, there were four sophomores taking Organic Chemistry. They were doing so well on all the quizzes, midterms and labs, etc., that each had an "A" so far for the semester.

These four friends were so confident that the weekend before finals, they decided to go up to the University of Virginia and party with some friends there. They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying, they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Duke until early Monday morning.

Rather than taking the final then, they decided to find their professor after the final and explain to him why they missed it. They explained that they had gone to UVA for the weekend with the plan to come back in time to study, but, unfortunately, they had a flat tire on the way back, didn't have a spare, and couldn't get help for a long time. As a result, they missed the final.

The professor thought it over and then agreed they could make up the final the following day. The guys were elated and relieved. They studied that night and went in the next day at the time the professor had told them. He placed them in separate rooms and handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin.

They looked at the first problem, worth five points. It was something simple about free radical formation. "Cool," they thought at the same time, each one in his separate room, "this is going to be easy." Each finished the problem and then turned the page.

On the second page was written: (For 95 points): Which tire?

3 friends die in a car accident and they go to an orientation in heaven.

They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?

The first guy says,"I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man."

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow."

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!

One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.


"Bubba, where'd you get that truck?!?"



"Bobby Sue gave it to me" Bubba replied.



"She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya,

but a new truck?"



"Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobby Sue pulled off the road, put the truck in 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said,

'Bubba, take whatever you want'.


So I took the truck!"

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: "My friend is dead! What can I do?"

The operator says: "Calm down, I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead."

There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: "OK, now what?"

...

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to
the counter and says to the social worker, "Hi... You know,
I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter says, "Sir your timing is
excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man
who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter.

You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes.

All your clothing will be provided.

Because of the long hours, meals will be provided.

You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday
trips.

You will have to satisfy all her sexual urges.

You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage.

Your starting salary will be $200,000 a year".

The guy says, "You're bullsh*ttin' me!"

The social worker says, "Yeah, well, you started it."

There's this guy on a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."


"No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they say they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away. I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison..."

hm...

stupid

Reported in the Massachusetts Bar Association Lawyers Journal, the following are questions actually asked of witnesses by attorneys during trials and, in certain cases, the responses given by insightful witnesses:

1. "Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?"

2. "The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?"

3. "Were you present when your picture was taken?"

4. "Were you alone or by yourself?"

5. "Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?"

6. "Did he kill you?"

7. "How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?"

8. "You were there until the time you left, is that true?"

9. "How many times have you committed suicide?"

10. Q: "So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And what were you doing at that time?"

11. Q: "She had three children, right?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "How many were boys?"
A: "None."
Q: "Were there any girls?"

12. Q: "You say the stairs went down to the basement?"
A: "Yes."
Q: "And these stairs, did they go up also?"

13. Q: "Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
A: "I went to Europe, sir."
Q: "And you took your new wife?"

14. Q: "How was your first marriage terminated?"
A: "By death."
Q: "And by whose death was it terminated?"

15. Q: "Can you describe the individual?"
A: "He was about medium height and had a beard."
Q: "Was this a male or female?"

16. Q: "Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
which sent to your attorney?"
A: "No, this is how I dress when I go to work."

17. Q: "Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?"
A: "All my autopsies are performed on dead people."

18. Q: "All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?"
A: "Oral."

19. Q: "Do you recall the time that you examined the body?"
A: "The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m."
Q: "And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?"
A: "No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy."

20. Q: "You were not shot in the fracas?"
A: "No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the naval."

21. Q: "Are you qualified to give a urine sample?"
A: "I have been since early childhood."

22. Q: "Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for blood pressure?"
A: "No."
Q: "Did you check for breathing?"
A: "No."
Q: "So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?"
A: "No."
Q: "How can you be so sure, doctor?"
A: "Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar."
Q: "But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?"
A: "It is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere."

haha.

haha

Tiiisssaaannnnnyyyy!!!!!!!!!