while the sun is taking a 12 hours break, the moon takes over.
it was yet again a quiet and a peaceful night. i was sitting by the window looking outside gazing at the beauty of the moonshine. it was all so peaceful...until i heard those barking.
there are various type of barking. but, i can never forget this kind of barking. the dogs bark like this because of two reasons . one is because they are chasing other dogs away from their dominion. the other is...
there it go again. those barking. without wasting another second i dash outside. wishing that i could make it in time.
please, i said to myself, not again.
i was out breath when i reached outside. then...
lazy to continue....
write comment please.
tell me if my vocab is wrong and if the story is quite interesting
Because I have no life. And because I am evil beyond reason...
ReplyDeleteWhile the sun takes it's twelve hours' break, the moon takes over. (this is called parallelism. If you go, I am sitting and read. It's wrong. You have to say, I am sitting and reading. Both with 'ing. Parallelism, m'dear.)
It was, yet again a quiet and a peaceful night. I was sitting by the window looking outside, gazing at the beauty of the moonshine (moon! moonshine = no such thing. Moonlight, i can deal). It was all so peaceful...until i heard the sound of dogs barking.
There are various type of barking noises but i can never forget this particular type of barking. The dogs bark like this because of two reasons, one is because they are chasing other dogs away from their territory and the other is- there it goes again. That repetitive, loud and annoying sound. Without wasting another second, i dash outside, wishing that i could make it in time.
Please, i said to myself, not again.
i was out breath when i reached outside. then...
There's a little something called grammar that you missed throughout the entire essay. If you use past tense in the beginning, use past tense. Also, capital letters please. cindy, read more books. Not those kiddish books. You seperated me from my beloved 'good omens' and 'the hogfather'. You'd better read them. I'm still mourning their lost. *sobx*
Anyway, not bad lah... for a twelve-year-old.
....twelve-year-old.....twelve-year-old...
ReplyDelete*glares*
anyway thanks